Abortion.com FaceBook Page
The other day I was reading all of the cool stuff that goes on on the Facebook page, “Abortion.com.” If you haven’t “liked” that page, take a minute to do so. There are some really interesting posts, good information and great responses. They now have over 50,000 “likes.”
At one point on that page, someone from another country asked how we here in the good ole US of A define “baby” and “fetus.” They obviously were trying to get more information on the never ending debate over what the hell that thing is that women carry when they become pregnant.
So, I chimed in and said that, yes, there are legal definitions for the two words but that the definitions really do nothing to resolve the dispute over when it becomes a baby and when it can be terminated. I guess most folks feel that if we continue to call it a “fetus,” then it’s easier to have an abortion – versus aborting a “baby.”
IntraUterine Pregnancy
But when it really comes down to it, my honest reaction is: “Who the hell cares what we call it?”
A woman discovers she is pregnant. Depending on her circumstance, she may have a number of reactions. If she and her partner were trying for years to become pregnant, then she is jumping for joy, calling all of her friends, putting it on her Facebook page. She is going to have a “baby!” In this case, at no point – and I mean NO point – will she ever refer to that tiny little organism in her body as a “fetus.” It’s her baby and as it grows and grows, she embraces it more and more as her baby. “Wanna feel the baby?” she will ask her neighbor. What should we call the baby? You know the drill.
Now, if the pregnancy was a surprise and a not so welcome surprise at that, the woman will still not refer to it as a “fetus.” When talking to her partner and/or her loved ones, she will admit that she “cannot have this baby.” If she makes an appointment to have an abortion, she will talk to the counselor about not being able to bring this baby into the world at this time.
Baby, baby, baby.
The women who are in these situations really don’t care about legal definitions. And they clearly never use the word “fetus.”
So, the question from my Facebook friend was an interesting one and I know they meant well but, in the long run, it really does not make that much difference what term the woman uses and, in more cases than not, they will call it a “baby.”
Related articles
- Brainless Republican Cruelly Tells Woman She Should Have Carried Brain Dead Fetus To Term (VIDEO) (addictinginfo.org)
- I disagree with the above comment, while, yes it is killing a fetus, there are many reasons people chose to have abortions (victorhernandezseverino.wordpress.com)
- Irish Taoiseach says he has been branded a ‘murderer’ for his stance on Abortion (skeptical-science.com)
- Adoption is for Orphans (vaginalaws.wordpress.com)
- Why abortion is bad (victorhernandezseverino.wordpress.com)
Abortion - Abortion Clinics, Abortion Pill, Abortion Information 
June 16, 2013 at 1:31 pm
The difference between a pregnant woman calling her fetus a baby and so-called “pro-lifers” calling it a baby is that she does it for her baby’s welfare, while they do it for their welfare.
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June 17, 2013 at 8:14 am
Of course, the anti abortion crowd would say they are doing it for the “baby’s” welfare, trying to humanize it. They also do it for PR purposes – and rather successfully too…..
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June 18, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Oh yeah I was just going to say what you have already posted Pat. I have debated these anti-choicer’s as to that fact, because I point out that a fetus is not baby, technically until it is born, and they say well the mother calls it a baby and not the fetus. I say well DUH, what else is she suppose to call it besides a BABY. They like to use the reason that she calls it a baby to make the baby into a separate being that has it’s own rights and feelings. So they use the fact that she calls her fetus a baby to make that point…Please…what difference does it make, the fact remains, it is still our body and our choice as to whether we the host of that fetus, and want to carry that pregnancy to full-term.
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June 16, 2013 at 2:15 pm
The nomenclature is important for the convenience of discussion.
‘Embryo’ infers a special stage of development.
‘Child’ does the same.
Words have meanings. It is hard to have a discussion if people change the well known definitions of words.
On that same note, whether a woman wants to call her pregnancy a baby or a fetus it is her choice.
As it is the choice of a woman to end her pregnancy, no matter what word she uses to describe Her pregnancy.
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June 17, 2013 at 8:16 am
I just found it interesting when i talked to women who were about to have an abortion. The words never seemed to matter. They would even use the word “kill”. They would rarely use the word “terminate.” Both sides put so much stock (and money and time) into coming up with the powerful words and I dont think most women give a crap. If they feel they have to “murder” their “baby”, they’re gonna do it no matter what.
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June 16, 2013 at 2:45 pm
The wording doesn’t matter in the end.
It is still the Woman’s choice!
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June 17, 2013 at 8:17 am
That’s exactly the point, Morgan! Thanks for chiming in. Short and to the point.
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June 17, 2013 at 11:16 am
I could care less what other people want to call it as long as I can do with my body what I choose . . .
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June 18, 2013 at 8:31 am
Totally agree, Glenda. These “debates” over what to call it are useless. And it’s clear that even some pro-choicers, particularly some pro-choice leaders who have to to PR, are not sure sometimes what to call it….The answer should just be “call it what you want – it doesn’t matter….”
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June 18, 2013 at 2:13 pm
You’re setting the cause up for a failure in the court of public opinion when you emphasize your personal rights, Glenda.
Given that you are quite within your rights to do so, the so-called “pro-lifers” will flaunt your quote and say, “SEE? SEE? All she thinks about is herself!” and carry on from there. There is a very, very large segment of the American public which has a judgmental and vindictive streak a mile wide, and while they usually keep it in bounds, a comment like yours is bound to trigger enough of them (e.g., two-thirds of the state of Kansas).
Soooo, what you ought to do is take the longer view– not, “I can do with my body what I want,” but “I’m not going to bear a child who is going to be subject to abuse, neglect, deprivation or ignorance. When I am ready to raise a child, then I will conform to your wishes. If you want me to do otherwise, then I expect you to post the $280,000 it will cost me to raise my child well.”
This has the effect of giving them notice that you have a better grasp of the implications of pregnancy and the meaning of human life than they do, and it also challenges them to put their money where their mouth has been for too long.
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June 18, 2013 at 9:45 pm
I disagree. The entire concept of abortion being a legally protected woman’s choice is based on the premise that she Does have the personal right to bodily autonomy that is not superseded by a “right to life” of a potential person.
Glenda saying it’s her body and she can do what she wants is asserting a fundamental moral position that applies to all women. Your suggestion, though well meaning, is simply wrong because it implies that the right of choice is conditional and something that one can compromise on.
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June 18, 2013 at 10:50 pm
Sigrid, abortion SHOULD be a woman’s legally protected right. However, there are a large number of people in a dysfunctional self-help group which calls itself the “pro-life” movement who constantly fight to destroy that right.
Until they are neutralized, people like Glenda will ALWAYS be on the defensive if they continue to utter such sentiments as hers. She will live in constant apprehension of their next attack. It is her obligation to defend her rights by putting THEM on the defensive, and one of the best ways to do that is to force them to consider the welfare of real children, especially the ones they compelled to exist.
She can feel as proud as she wants to about “it’s my body and my choice,” but that is not going to stop them. Burdening them with the need to care for real human life will put a damper on their ravings.
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June 18, 2013 at 5:34 am
When I directed an abortion clinic, it was common to receive calls from young women who suddenly found themselves pregnant. Calls sometimes began with panicked statements like, “I’m going to have a baby…and I can’t, not now. Can you please tell me about abortion?”
Not once do I recall a woman seeking an abortion ever referring to the contents of her pregnancy as anything other than a baby. I agree that a lot of emphasis and political capital is unnecessarily put into the semantics of the abortion debate.
I have always believed that when women use “baby” as the term when discussing or deciding abortion, it was a positive thing; it illustrated that they fully understood what they were considering. There was no denial on their part that abortion would end the prospect of them giving birth. I gave them credit for processing the decision however it worked best for them. That said, medical providers in any area of practice must use scientific terms; those terms are exact and define whatever will take place.
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June 18, 2013 at 8:32 am
Well said, Kim, as always. I look forward to more insights from you and your life as an abortion clinic administrator in the future on this blog!
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October 11, 2013 at 3:44 am
My miscarriages were never babies to me they were simply pregnancies that didn’t make it.
My stillbirth was an unrecognized teen pregnancy until I birthed him and watched my very underdeveloped fetus die in my arms.
My abortion to be honest has a callous on it, I don’t know how to feel about those particular uterine contents because I am still fighting the good and moral fight to abortion access, abortion rights and reproductive justice. Dealing with the protestors/security guards, my significant others feelings, the perfunctory, pedantic clinic policies, a slew of legislated nonsense (listening to the state mandated warning, an ultrasound etc) and jaded staff – well all of this didn’t leave me much time or space to process that particular pregnancy, what I mostly remember is being very angry that 2 forms of birth control failed us, enraged that I was pregnant and being disgusted at the perceived betray of my own body.
My very wanted and planned pregnancy was referred to as a mostly as parasite. At first this is just a quirky, funny way to refer to it but the heavier the pregnancy gots, the more strain it puts on my body, the more it drains my body it made me truly realize that pregnancy is a hard core, life changing parasitical relationship.
This is my narrative, these are how I think of and view the contents of my womb that I’ve made. No one has the right to tell me how to feel, what to label it, how to view it and how to I define my reproductive events. They are mine, the contents of the womb are mine and they remain mine to do with as I please and how I see fit. Every single event was given the respect I felt that it needed and deserved and when I felt it necessary to do so I respectfully buried it.
I had a stillbirth at 24 weeks, I’ve had several miscarriages, a medical abortion and a daughter, I have to say that the abortion was the easiest of all those obstetric events to go through. My stillbirth was the most traumatizing, the miscarriages were the most frightening, my daughter’s birth was the most anxious but the abortion was elegant in it’s simplicity – it was simply a chosen miscarriage.
Don’t let others define your obstetric experiences.They are yours, don’t let anyone write your narrative for you.
A Pro Choice Midwife
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