Let’s face it. Most of us are here on this earth because our parents had sex. As honest as this statement is, it likely makes people squirm. Who wants to think about their parents naked, sweaty and humping one on top of the other or grinding side-by-side on the dining room table or in the back seat of the car or in the tent next to you in Yosemite National Park? Certainly, not me. I’d rather scratch my eyes out. Our squirminess and discomfort points to a huge problem in our nation. While the common hegemonic sentiment of America is one of superiority, in reality, we Americans have failed miserably to accept and fully embrace our human sexuality. More specifically, we have failed to apply scientifically-sound and medically-accepted knowledge in public health and public education to benefit those who engage in sexual activity safely and responsibly. And who is responsible for this failure? I’d argue that those responsible are a misguided minority with their knickers in a knot over human sexuality. They go by many names but together they’re really the self-appointed morality police who run for political offices mostly on a conservative ticket, who prey on women outside abortion clinics, and who work for or are members of organizations like the Heritage Foundation, the Catholic Church or Operation Rescue. These morality cops are all about promoting abstinence only sex education in schools, sustaining propaganda campaigns about the evils of masturbation, telling bald-faced absurdities about a raped woman’s body shutting down a potential rape-related pregnancy, denying the spectrum of sexual expression, and ignoring the scientific data about the safety and efficacy of contraception and abortion. Sexual behavior for these folks certainly seems, well, icky on so many levels. And we as a nation pay a stiff (no pun intended) penalty.
In addition to their narrowly informed heteronormative perspective on sexuality, this minority further constrains natural human sexuality with their religiously informed myths about intercourse being only for procreation. Doesn’t that just take the fun out of an afternoon romp in the sack for post-menopausal Auntie Joyce and Viagra-defunct Uncle Tony? Such a heterosexist view clearly ignores the sexuality of our LGBT brothers and sisters. It also ignores the perfectly natural practice of going it alone because, in their worldview, the two concepts—pleasure and masturbation—are the work of Lucifer. And such a view surely ignores those lovely, lively priests with predilections for little boys. But I digress.
Let me say a bit more about some of the religious conservatives’ bias in favor of opposite-sex relationships of a sexual nature, and against same-sex relationships of a sexual nature—aka, what is called heteronormativity. The problem here is that they take their sexual bias to an extreme in educational settings. In many states, their bias has rewarded with state funding to discriminate against LGBT children. Specifically, their homophobia is rewarded with adopted state laws – sometimes referred to as “neovouchers” – to transform state money into private Christian school scholarships used at religious-based schools that prohibit gay, lesbian or bisexual students from attending. These schools are essentially given a license to emotionally and physically bully and expel children who fail to be straight.
Listen, I have no argument with being sexually conservative, heterosexual and/or abstinent. It’s a right that should be respected just as individuals who are not hetero should be respected. But, I do have a big argument when their penchant for prudery and balderdash leads to serious health consequences for real children. I’m talking about their misguided drive to demand abstinence-only sex education in public schools and as the price to play for charter school funding (at the cost of decreasing public education funding). Abstinence-only sex education is a well-documented financial waste as well as an epic education disaster that has resulted in the United States having one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy and the highest rates of sexually transmitted infection rates in the industrialized world. Thanks, in part, to abstinence programs, female teens are more vulnerable to sexual violence because abstinence isn’t a realistic response to peer pressure. Among the general teen population, one out of four has a sexually transmitted infection. The STI rate for African American teens averages 50%. And for all teens, if left untreated some of their STIs can cause permanent damage, such as infertility and even death. Of course, the response of the Panties-in-a-Wad crowd, this bastion of heteronormative bias, is to point a judgmental finger at the individual teen and wag their tongue about the evils of having sex. But my response to the Panties-in-a-Wad crowd is to illustrates the impact of states with predominantly conservative and religious views and the teen birth belt.
A further response to this uber conservative minority is say that their work is disingenuous. Teens are sexual beings. Not providing comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education is the moral failure of conservative, religious thinking.
And speaking of moral failure, consider all the bickering over the Affordable Care Act and contraception. Church-going entities like Hobby Lobby, the Catholic Church, and Chik-Fil-A went ballistic over their obligations to provide contraceptive insurance for their employees. Let’s be honest here. We’re talking about white men making a fuss about paying for health care for the women in their organizations because it goes against their beliefs while making no religiously-informed complaints about paying for Viagra or Cialis for men. Let’s also be clear that statistical studies illustrate the majority of women (Catholics, Christian Evangelicals alike) who are married to these men use contraception. Hypocritical much?
Access to contraception, while clearly a smart response to reducing unplanned pregnancies and abortions, is seriously problematic for many who protest outside abortion clinics and for those who legislate morality in the state and federal government. They believe that contraception causes abortion, is dangerous, and is immoral if outside heterosexual marriage. The bigger issue with those who don’t believe in abortion or contraception is their attempt to impose their beliefs on others. A comparison of the United States to countries where abortion is legal reveals that other countries have much lower rates of abortion, have healthier perspectives on human sexuality, have better health care systems and have normalized sexual education for children and teens. What we have here in the United States is staggering puritanism informed by a peculiarly aberrant form of Christian ethos that is seriously harming our children with the abysmal failure of abstinence education. So much for the claim to be pro life, to uphold family values.
Those with their eyes wide open have witnessed the stunning waste of taxpayer dollars over legal battles about DOMA, about the Affordable Care Act and contraception, and about targeted regulations against abortion providers based on nothing more than willful ignorance of science and, no doubt, their god-deluded sense of moral righteousness. Like the epic failure of prohibition on alcohol during the early 20th century, this ongoing battle against our God-given sexual nature has failed our nation. Attempting to prohibit or constrain sexual behavior according to the mythically-constructed boundaries of the sexually thwarted and perverted minority, is dishonest, unhealthy, disingenuous, and immoral.
Related articles
- Sexy Sunday: The problems with sex education (velociriot.org)
- Theory post about Abortion (violetlightning.wordpress.com)
- Chlamydia on the rise in girls as young as 12 (abc.net.au)
- Texas Will End Teen Pregnancy By Spending $1.2 Million Telling Teens To Keep It In Their Pants (wonkette.com)
- Steep Costs for Abstinence Only Programs (atheistrev.com)
- Texas Tries To Combat Teen Pregnancy With Abstinence-Only Website That Doesn’t Mention Birth Control (thinkprogress.org)
- The Budget: Issue 2 opinion story (niadrutledge.wordpress.com)


October 23, 2013 at 10:25 am
Excellent article!!
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October 23, 2013 at 11:56 am
Thanks, Elena.
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October 23, 2013 at 10:37 am
It is obvious that abstinence only programs fail.
The Red states tend to have the highest teenage unwanted pregnancy rates.
Their moral high ground and faith based initiatives are a complete failure.
They are trying to fight one of the most basic drives after hunger for air, that a human being has, the desire for sex.
ie, One would probably choose to breath rather than have some nice quick sex.
However, the two other main hungers, that for quenching thirst, and hunger, are often secondary to easy quick sex.
We need to deal with the reality to make a difference.
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October 23, 2013 at 12:17 pm
Caroline,
Thanks for chiming in here. By the way, some of the faith based initiatives, particularly alternatives to abortion, are essentially pathways for state and federal funding to enhance the church’s coffers. For example, Real Alternatives in PA will receive for FY 2013-1014 a nifty sum of $6.29 million, the majority going directly to Catholic Charities. The CEO is a Catholic deacon and a lawyer who has no medical background yet earns triple digit income. He’s feted all over the state by Catholic dioceses for the organization’s wonderful work of using mostly volunteers to counsel women against abortion, provide abstinence only training for the poor women, ensure that the women are connected to funds from state and federal programs for social welfare and “educate” women about all the evils of abortion, sex and sexually transmitted diseases. The real kicker is after a woman is in their clutches and gives birth, she’s given one year to make it on her own. In this day and age, teens living in economically and educationally sound circumstances don’t leave home until they’re finished with a trade or a degree. And even then, many return home to save money. Encouraging or brainwashing these young women into giving birth then kicking them out after a year seems beyond immoral.
And while I’m thinking about it, consider that during the government shutdown, many of the social programs that benefitted poor women with children were also shutdown. So much for family values. The anti-aborts like to say “We love both mother and baby” but in reality they only love the fetus. After it’s born, it’s tough luck, tootsie.
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October 23, 2013 at 12:26 pm
Oh yes, let’s save all those babies…take them through adoption. The zealots out there love the fetus. They love babies as long as they are being given up for adoption. They call poor pregnant women “noble” as long as they give the baby to them…and you say that birth moms get one year to get their act together. They do not get even a year if they are independent thinkers. For example, if someone finds out that they had sex at the house they were staying at, they get kicked out! Too many looney crazy anti abortion, anti everything but lawyers, religious fanaticism, and fetuses…there you have it – three things those bozos like for sure. Such a pitiful life they live.
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October 23, 2013 at 1:34 pm
I would love to interview women who had unpleasant experiences such as the one Anonymous suggests. And/or interview individuals who worked in these homes that could speak to the realities within? Does anyone out there have reputable contacts they would be willing to share offline?
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October 23, 2013 at 8:42 pm
Unfortunately, your sentiment is all too often correct. There are numerous lawyers reaping great profit by exploiting women for the babies they can produce. There is overwhelming evidence that many of the private law practices advertising for pregnant women specifically target those women who men impregnate for the purpose of acquiring shelter and life necessities that can be legally given to pregnant women planning to give their babies up. How healthy is it to be pregnant continuously for the sake of having shelter?
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October 23, 2013 at 8:45 pm
Excellent post! American culture is hung up on sexual activity to the point that the “hang-ups” come through loud and clear in public policy dealing with teen pregnancy, sex ed, and the like. Sexual desire is so normal and such an important part of healthy relationships, it is a real shame that a small segment of the population has so much power to influence our political systems in such a way that the notion of sex as bad is perpetuated. Keep up the good writing!
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October 24, 2013 at 4:55 am
Thanks so much. Our liberal arts college in Allentown PA has an institute called the Center for Ethics. Every year the programming focuses on a broadly conceived area of ethical considerations such as markets, identity, a sense of place. This year the focus is sex, pleasure, politics and ethics. And the taboos about talking in public about sex is both troubling and predictable for a college campus. Last night’s visiting scholar, Joan E. Bertin, Executive Director, National Coalition Against Censorship, addressed the long-standing prudery in this country including the history of the First Amendment, censorship, restrictions on sexually explicit speech, child pornography, political speech, government secrecy, broadcast decency, and censorship of science and sex education. So there’s a long tradition of battling against the politics of sex.
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February 9, 2014 at 4:13 pm
A million thanks for posting this inimroatfon.
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October 24, 2013 at 5:11 am
Mom Baby God—in a theater near you. This is a must-see one-woman show about the insides of the antiabortion movement.
http://www.mombabygod.com
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October 24, 2013 at 11:21 am
From the ACLU:
**Censoring health information will endanger young people’s health**
Due to an increased focus on abstinence-only education, comprehensive, medically-accurate sexuality education is becoming the exception rather than the rule. As a result, more students lack basic information that they need to protect their health. The reality is that 90 percent of Americans have intercourse before marriage, and 50 percent of teens are sexually active by the time they leave high school. It is irresponsible – and dangerous – not to provide young people with the knowledge necessary to prevent pregnancy and STDs.
**Abstinence-only programs are discriminatory**
By excluding information about safe sex practices and teaching about sex only in the context of marriage, abstinence-only programs stigmatize gay and lesbian teens and undermine efforts to educate them about HIV and STD prevention. Many abstinence-only curricula are overtly hostile to lesbians and gay men. Such hostility violates the rights of these students to attend school free of discrimination.
**Federal dollars must not fund censorship**
While a discussion of abstaining from sexual activity is an important component of any sexuality education curriculum, programs that focus exclusively on abstinence inhibit free expression by forbidding the discussion of essential information about human sexuality and reproduction. Recipients of abstinence-only money are forced to omit any mention of topics such as contraception, abortion, homosexuality, and AIDS or to present these subjects in a non-scientific, medically inaccurate, or incomplete fashion.
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February 8, 2014 at 1:57 pm
sex is not all it’s cracked up to be. I know how it feels when you think eoryevne around you is doing it but the truth is if you believe in yourself and you know you want to wait then wait. There will be a guy for you out there somewhere but you do have your whole life to look forward to. I’ve been in situations where my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) wanted to have sex and he would’nt stop asking me, then one day i realized if he loved me he would keep asking me to do something I don’t want to do I broke up with him and now I’m dating a wonderful guy I olan to marry if we are still together. Just wait girl.
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October 24, 2013 at 8:15 pm
Sadly the U.S. has been unduly influenced by the Puritan religious view of the body as base, vile and shameful. Our culture reflects this sick view in advertising, movies, t.v. and other media. Children are raised to be ashamed of nudity and anything smacking of sexuality. Children and teens are taught to hate their bodies and hold their looks up to insane and unrealistic standards of acceptance. Women particularly are shamed and reviled as sexual creatures and are blamed for their own rapes, abuse and molestation. It is going to take many deca\des of re-education to save the U.S from its ingrained superstitious hatred of the human body and human sexuality.
Thank you for your essay/article. I appreciated all the points you made and will share this.
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October 24, 2013 at 9:11 pm
Great points, Auntikrist! I especially laud your comments about unrealistic, socially constructed (by media) standards and the truth about victim blaming. Thanks so much.
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October 25, 2013 at 6:31 am
Thanks for ruining my day by making me visualize my now dead parents having s__x. Great piece, as always, Kate.
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October 25, 2013 at 7:30 am
Sex is great!
Figures the GOP would try and ruin that also!
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October 25, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Remember that old anti-choice Catholic idiot John Dunkle who use to throw his BS onto this blog? He has some kind a web site / news letter dedicated to trying to make heroes out of people who have murdered abortion providers. It once was called “skyp” for stop killing young people. But apparently he realized a fetus is not a young person and that this name didn’t fit with the above mentioned dedication, so he changed it to “Abortion is Murder.” He has changed it again – “Contraception is Murder.”
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October 26, 2013 at 5:13 am
Yes, I remember and, yes, I see him every Saturday that I’m at the clinic in Allentown. I’m not sure I’d call him an idiot, though. I’d say he’s a mean-spirited, God-deluded attention whore. But that’s just my opinion.
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October 26, 2013 at 8:06 am
Abortion is a sin!!
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October 26, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Oh, Allistair, is hyperbole one of your favorite responses?
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October 31, 2013 at 7:13 am
If the GOP had the opportunity to have sex with a liberal they would leave the GOP …
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February 9, 2014 at 3:32 pm
O Old Boy epaize th fruosanika tou. Enas purobolismos akousthke, ena sex symbol eixe gremistei. To pistolh tou Old boy, bu8ismeno sth 8hkh toukapnize, alla h fysarmonika oute gia mia stigmh eixe pausei oute kan faltsarei. From the “Once upon a time in the Blog”.
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