I don’t know how many times I have heard pro-lifers say “a woman who has an abortion is just taking the easy way out.”
Excuse me?
I’ll say right up front that I have very little patience when someone opines about a situation that they have never been in themselves. It is way too easy to sit back and pontificate about the rest of the world, to look at the world through cookie cutter eyes and say that this is the way things should be.
I don’t care if you are living in the South Bronx and your parents are on crack. If you just get off of your butt and work hard you too can become a millionaire! Easier said than done.
I don’t care if your hormones are raging like a wildfire, you just can’t have sex until you get married. Easier said than done.
I don’t care if you had unprotected sex and the boy has disappeared and your parents are pressuring you to have an abortion. You go have that child and do the best you can. Easier said than done.
Let’s look at this more closely.
A woman has unprotected sex. She goes home that night and immediately starts thinking about the chance she took. She then has to wait a few weeks to see if she gets her period. To suggest that she just goes about her daily business without thinking about the potential problem is naïve and insulting to women.
Finally, the time arrives and her period does not come. Now, she really starts to panic. She talks to the man who was involved, if he is still around, she may talk to her parents or a girlfriend. She decides that this is an anomaly and will wait another month for the next period. It doesn’t come. She gets a pregnancy test and discovers she is pregnant.
Now what? She thinks about her options (which she has already been thinking about for two months). She is Catholic, so she is very concerned about an abortion. She lives with her parents, has no visible means of support, can not imagine giving birth to a child. Her parents, who she finally told, want her to get an abortion because they don’t want to be responsible for raising the child.
Ultimately, she decides to have an abortion. She goes through the Yellow Pages and sees numerous listings for abortion clinics, but she doesn’t know anything about them. She has heard that there are “abortion mills” out there that harm women. Which ones are the mills? She calls several clinics and has different reactions. The longer she waits, the more money it costs to have an abortion.
She finally decides and makes the appointment. That morning she goes in, runs through a gauntlet of anti-abortion protestors screaming “Don’t kill your baby”, and makes it to the waiting room in an agitated state of mind. She sees the counselor and is finally brought to the surgery room. She is shown pictures of fetal development that are required by the state and can see that there is a semblance of a baby there. She goes ahead with the abortion.
After the abortion, she goes home to rest. She starts thinking “what if” she had had the baby? Has she done the right thing? She may wonder about it for years and years. She may ultimately come to regret her decision.
And this is “taking the easy way out?”

April 19, 2010 at 2:29 pm
It’s the hard way out for the little girl whose legs and arms preceded her torso.
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April 19, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Pat you obviously fail to realize the benefits accruing to the so-called “pro-lifer” who truly believes the woman took the “easy way out.” Here he was, looking for a chance to see her punished for eighteen years by an agent of punishment he imposed on her. This is real power!!!! Heck, it’s way ahead of child support payments in the punishment game.
And if the woman thinks to poke a stick up the so-called “pro-lifer’s” nose by raising a happy and healthy child who turns out to discover the secret to immortality, he’ll trump her by saying, “See? I was right!”
If, as is more likely, the kid turns out to be a recidivist criminal, the guy will say, “Don’t blame me. It’s all part of God’s inscrutable plan.”
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April 28, 2010 at 4:41 pm
OH, PLEASE, the only person PUNISHED was the baby, who, by the way, never volunteered to be where he/she ended up.
You talk about WOMEN’S RIGHT TO CHOOSE what about the baby’s right to choose and don’t tell me its just an embryo. It has eyes, lungs, lips, a brain, a beating heart.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. YOU punished the baby, is that better?
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April 19, 2010 at 2:55 pm
ps: I forgot to mention this is therapeutic for him, so you shouldn’t deny him his therapy….
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April 20, 2010 at 6:38 am
I think you may be right, CG, about this being therapeutic for John. I just dont understand, John, the need for you to talk about spreading legs, the “little girl” reference, etc. I know you have daughters, but I really wonder sometimes about you and whether or not you are a mysogonist?
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April 20, 2010 at 6:40 am
This is a great post! I just discovered this site and love reading Pat’s stuff. She (he?) puts things in a refreshing perspective, doesn’t sugarcoat things. Thanks, Pat. I look forward to participating. Who is this John guy?
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April 20, 2010 at 8:46 am
Hi Bob, I’m someone who doesn’t think you may kill someone else.
I knew it, I knew it, Pat. Because you think you are able to understand Charles, you are starting to sound like him!
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April 20, 2010 at 9:01 am
Actually, John, I often do not understand what Charles is saying!!
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April 20, 2010 at 9:04 am
I totally agree with John. I had an abortion about 11 years ago and have never gotten over it. It was a horrible experience, the doctor hardly even talked to me and they never discussed my options. Do not kill your baby!
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April 20, 2010 at 11:31 am
I’m sorry hou had such a terrible experience, Meg. How much control did you have over the situation? I’ve been in quite a few medical situations where I let common sense override my impulse to say, “Hold it! I want to re-think this,” but let the doc continue. Fortunately for me, none of them turned out badly, but I can see where you might have been operating on the same wavelength I was, where you let the stereotype of the doctor as doing what’s best override your real needs. And who among us is able to override an authority figure who has twice as much schooling as we do?
I once dealt with a sixteen-year-old whose first words were, “I had an abortion.” Actually, it turned out SHE didn’t have an abortion– HER PARENTS had an abortion done on her. It is so necessary for the woman to be in charge of herself, and you didn’t have the chance. I’m sorry that didn’t happen, and I hope you’ve been in charge since.
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April 20, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Far from being easy!!! Even more difficult to be a way out!!!
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April 20, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I’m not sure what you mean, Chante. All I know is that it was a terrible experience. In fact, about two years later I read in our local paper that a woman died at the clinic. I no not eveyone dies from abortion, but how does a woman tell the difference between bad and “good” clinics? I just called through the yellow pages
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April 21, 2010 at 6:26 am
Doesn’t Pat run a great blog here, folks?
Comment #1, mine, was too cryptic, as often. What I meant was that a little girl who gets extracted from the womb comes out in pieces, first the arms, then the legs, then the torso. I don’t care how much a woman suffers if she is not allowed to undergo an abortion, that is far, far worse.
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April 21, 2010 at 9:43 am
I have a question for you, John. Can good be greater or lesser? For example, a box of chocolates could be considered to be a good thing. Can it be considered to be basically good if one person enjoys the whole box, but a greater good when that person shares?
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April 21, 2010 at 10:09 am
My mother always said that life is like a box of chocolates
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April 21, 2010 at 10:45 am
Glad you got out of those braces, Pat!
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April 21, 2010 at 11:07 am
Charles, I second what Pat said.
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April 22, 2010 at 11:22 am
John, you still haven’t answered my question. You must find it threatening?
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April 22, 2010 at 2:28 pm
First, I have to say that the replies to this post are some of the funniest ever.
Second,I am pro-life, but I don’t know many like me who say that abortion is the “easy way out” (Maybe I just hang around the right crowd). Yes. I have heard MANY of those considering abortion who said, “I don’t want my parents to find out”, “I can’t have a baby right now, because I have to finish school”, or “…my boyfriend and I broke up”.
If you ask me, then, are they NOW taking the easy way out, because a child would be an inconvenience to them…I will say YES. I do not agree with abortions. I REALLY do not agree with abortions performed out of convenience. It’s as irresponsible as having unprotected sex.
Lastly, Who “disliked” Megans reply?? CG??
As much as you guys dog us “prolifers” for “coercing” people into keeping their baby, I find it comical that the other side “coerces” people that it is OKAY to have an abortion.
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April 22, 2010 at 3:48 pm
James, it seems your hatred of abortion really takes precedence in your thinking. You seem unable to judge how I felt about Meg’s account by reading my response to it.
It would be interesting to see details about how “the other side ‘coerces’ people that it is OKAY to have an abortion,” since I haven’t run across any evidence that people who choose NOT to have an abortion are circumscribed or discriminated against either legally or by “counter-demonstrators.” In fact, I haven’t seen even one “Chain of Pro-Choice” demonstration insisting that “Pregnancy is Stupidity.”
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April 22, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Charles, my answer is yes to both questions.
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