On Election Day, I was standing outside my polling place minding my own business. I’m a pretty staunch Democrat and everyone in my area knows it. But, on this day, I was not handing out literature to voters. I was just sitting in the background and leaving that work to other younger poll watchers. There were about seven of us Democrats and just about 30 feet away the Republican Party had their table and their workers were doing the same. As usual, everything was generally rather civil.
Then, suddenly, over near the Republican table I hear some woman at the top of her lungs say “I know you, Pat Richards, you’re a baby killer!”
Now, as a staff person for the National Coalition of Abortion Providers for 13 years, I had gotten somewhat used to being called names during protests, rallies, etc. It came with the territory. I even kind of enjoyed it – it meant they knew who I was. But it’s been about 8 years since I’ve been in that movement and this was the first time in many years that I had been confronted with something like this in public.
Her screech cut through the chilly wind and pierced my ears. Interestingly, I found that my heart started palpitating wildly. I couldn’t believe I was hearing that crap again. I looked over and made eye contact with this woman, who then yelled out “Yes, Pat, we know you teach people how to perform abortions.” This absolutely ridiculous statement brought me back down to Earth because now I knew she wasn’t dealing with a full deck. And now I was intrigued.
I quietly walked over towards her and just said “what are you talking about?”
“Oh, we know who you are and what you do.”
Fair enough, I thought. I mean, this world famous blog is a public document so in a funny way I was actually flattered that she knew who I was. So now I really wanted to converse with her, to see if I still had those ole debating skills. You see, in the years I represented abortion providers, I loved engaging the pro-lifers and enjoyed trying to have a civil conversation about the issue. I may have been delusional, but I always thought that if I just had a chance to explain why women have abortions and why the doctors put their lives on the line every day, then that person might understand just a little more and be less angry. I never thought I would convert them, I just wanted them to understand. But the person I was talking to now felt a little different.
“I know you write that blog where you teach people how to perform abortions.” I asked her if she had ever read my blog and she said “no, but they have,” and she pointed to a group of 3 or 4 fellow Republicans who were peering at me, as if I had horns. “If you haven’t read my blog, how do you know what I say? You know, I do look at things rather objectively and there are times I don’t even agree with the pro-choice folks. You should really read my stuff.” No answer.
By this time, others were joining in on both sides. There was no shouting (my friend did shout but I found out later she was hearing impaired) but it was tense and everyone was just talking over each other. But my new “friend” and I just kept “talking” (she talked and I listened) and we ultimately learned we had another non-abortion connection in the community. She then segued into asking me questions about Obama: “Please tell me, I really want to know, how can you be voting for Obama?” When I started to answer, she interrupted with “no, really, I really want to try to understand, I want to learn, I want to…..” And she kept going on and on. It was a constant monologue.
I had to get away so I told her I had to leave. I came back about two hours later and she ran up to me and said “Pat, let me ask another question. You’re really the only one here that I can talk to….”
Huh?
Related articles
- Misogyny will cost the GOP (salon.com)
- The American Family Association’s New Short Film Will Have You Regretting Your Abortion in No Time (patheos.com)
- #VAW -Raped by stepfather at 13, Forced to illegal abortion #Mexico (kractivist.wordpress.com)
- Abortion, rape shaped key races (politico.com)




November 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Anit Choicers are just nutty people . . .
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November 12, 2012 at 7:07 am
This should tell the anti abortion numnuts something—“In its delusional death spiral, the white male patriarchy was so hard core, so redolent of country clubs and Cadillacs, it made little effort not to alienate women. The election had the largest gender gap in the history of the Gallup poll, with Obama winning the vote of single women by 36 percentage points.” NY Times.
One subset of these delusional, woman-alienating Republicans are, as you say, the anti abortion folks. What strikes me as horrific are the women who have been duped into denying their own sense of womanhood, buying into the patriarchy, lapping it up like crack.
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November 12, 2012 at 10:21 am
And, of course, there are now some in the anti-abortion movement that are saying that the GOP wasn’t strong enough on the issue!! OMG, please get stronger, get crazier, push those Personhood amendments that even the folks in Mississippi couldn’t even stomach. They love to eat their own…
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November 12, 2012 at 11:26 am
Or, as Flip Benham used to scream to women outside a Hebron NC abortion clinic, “Don’t go in there. The devil inside there wants to drink the blood of your child.”
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November 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm
When will these crazy religious lunatics learn? – Never . . .
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November 22, 2012 at 8:40 pm
as i recall, evan, you called for the execution of the pope in an earlier article.
when you do things like that, you are behaving no better than the religious lunatics.
when you behave like that, you have become what you condemn.
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November 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Good to hear from you again, rogelio. I hope all’s well with all of you.
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November 13, 2012 at 6:41 am
They used what ever tactics they could to make the person STOP!! Listen to what they had to say…which was always a bunch of lies!!
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November 13, 2012 at 6:34 am
My 1st question is…why was this woman allowed to stay there?? Why wasn’t she and her group asked to leave?? That type of behavior should NOT have been tolerated in the area where people are getting ready to “vote”!!
In S.C. “NO” one is allowed to hand out literature or campaign at the polls!!We do NOT have to “declare” our parties…that sounds like a set up for disaster when you are talking about “hot button issues” during an election!!
All that being said…it reminds me of the time when I was the “Executive Director” of our clinic in Greenville, SC… there was a county counsel meeting about some issues regarding protesting in the “Greenville city limits”! I had been up there a few times during some heavy protesting so some of the protester’s knew “who” I was but I had “0” interactions with them!!
When I arrived at the meeting (by myself…my attorney later said BIG MISTAKE!! When he later found out!!) the protester’s immediately started “looking & pointing” at that time it crossed my mind that perhaps “THEY” were NOT going to behave like ADULTS like I thought!! Then the doors opened and the “crowd” was ushered in…probably the largest one Greenville had ever seen!! Although I had gone by myself I did have some “pro-choice” people rather quickly move around me as I took my seat!! Once the powers that be called the meeting to order and start the hearing…ALL THE PROTESTER’S stood up AT ONCE and started to YELL & POINT…”AT ME”…”SHE DOESN’T BELONG HERE…SHE DOESNT’ LIVE HERE…SHE IS JUST HERE TO PROTECT HER BLOOD $$$!!!
The “powers that be” tried really hard to get the meeting back to order… I did notice that the Greenville Police Dept did start to move in around me…that’s when I 1st realized that I had probably made a mistake coming there!! I assumed that we were all adults and that in a government meeting everyone would act like adults!! As the meeting started to wind down with more or less…we will postpone anything on this until a later date!! Then they said that NO one would leave until I was safely in my car!! At that point I was given a police escort out to my car….which I kid you NOT was covered in KETSUP!!! So believe me…I never let them see me sweat!! But that night when I got home …to my hotel room I trembled for about an hour!! But I never underestimated them again!! Believe my they pulled some “doozy’s”
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November 13, 2012 at 6:37 am
(sorry I don’t know what happened!!) when we were in court with them in Greenville …the power’s that be were afraid of them!! They were always pushing…just to see how far they could go!!
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November 13, 2012 at 4:12 pm
OMG, what a story. I would love to be able to interview (for a documentary) all the lunacy committed by the protesters. There are so many who are providers or escorts who must have amazing stories. I know the local antis seem to take great pleasure in confronting staff and escorts when observed in retail stores or on the highway. As usual, they make absolute asses out themselves.
One protester attended an event on our college campus with the intent to propagandize. The film was about motherless children (children whose mothers died from unsafe, illegal abortions) and the documentarians held a Q& A after the viewing. Joyce, the protester, in typical rudeness and ignorance began a diatribe about the evils of abortion and was promptly shut down by the documentarians. She wanted a platform for her bully pulpit but was rightfully silenced. Surprised she didn’t try to sue the school like she tried with the clinic, protesting her right to free speech….too bad she lost (not).
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November 14, 2012 at 9:46 am
Kate, I always thought that documenting the “small but scary stuff” might be real interesting. Everyone knows about the murders, the bombings, etc., but most people never knew or do not recall the individual campaigns of terrorism targetting one person like Lorraine. I think sometimes people pooh pooh the murders because they just say that the murderer was an aberration who was out of his mind. But it’s these “little” things that those oh-so-supposedly-innocent protestors engaged in that need to be documented. Maybe Lorraine writes a little, as I suggested below, and maybe you, Kate, try to document those littler stories on this blog? Just thinking out loud. I wonder what Elena would think?
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November 14, 2012 at 9:38 am
Lorraine, outside our polling booths, there is a circle where folks cannot hand out any literature or talk politics. It’s about a 50 foot circle. Outside of that, however, everyone is open game. I think it’s a good system, you gotta have some free speech. This woman was outside the circle so she was allowed to say whatever she wanted. I respect that and defend her right to do it….
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November 14, 2012 at 9:42 am
I’m telling ya, Lorraine, you should be sharing this and the many other stories you have in the form of a blog on this website! Maybe once every two weeks, just recall in detail another incident like the one above so you/we can document the stuff that no one outside of your town ever heard about. If you are interested, I can help facilitate the process. You might even find it cathartic!
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November 14, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Lorraine, I enjoy reading your comments. I would like to learn from your experiences also.
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November 15, 2012 at 10:00 am
I think your right Pat! Sometimes someone will say something that triggers something that I for reasons of “sanity” have pushed to the “outer recess” of what is left of my brain!! LOL
My granddaughter’s wanted to know in detail the other day WHY I can NOT go to the mall!!…Now don’t get me wrong I can go to the OUT stores but NOT the middle of the mall…WHY? I use to have this recurrent dream that seemed VERY real at the time…I would be shopping and Kathy Rider and her husband would sneak in while I was trying on clothes and hold me down with a butcher knife and threaten me!! (in my dream i could NOT move!) So my husband would wake me up because I would be screaming and be soaking wet trembling with fear!!
To this day if I go into the mall I have this “fright or flight” response…can’t go by myself!! But they (her & her husband & the other protester’s) use to threaten me if they saw me in the mall …the things they would do!! They NEVER threatened to KILL me however “embarrass me”…I guess to a degree I still suffer from some PTSD after 13 yrs…
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November 22, 2012 at 8:37 pm
SHAME!
nobody should be subjected to terrorism like that!
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November 22, 2012 at 8:38 pm
when you say “my attorney” are you referring to a personal attorney? it seems to me that the state should have been prosecuting those fiends.
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November 24, 2012 at 8:10 am
Well…the State of South Carolina is run by the GOP!! Attorney General Charlie Condon (catholic from Charleston) said one of his main goals was to see that clinic’s were closed!!
He was instrumental in trying to regulate us out of business…the length of a blade of grass…if we had “ants on the property” or “rodents” “rats” (I did see a few of them on Sat.’s LOL)…squirels…mice all these things were to be regulated under “Charlie’s” plan!! You could be closed down if you didn’t comply!! Because we all know how important that is in the scheme of a woman seeking an abortion!!
The tides only changed in SC after I was able to get “1” solicitor to listen to my story and review the proof I had over the past several years showing the record of abuse and “stalking”…that went on here in Charleston!! “My”
attorney for the clinic worked hard to help accomplish that case being taken into the court room!!
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February 10, 2014 at 7:07 pm
Congratulations! I found your blog through Lorraine’s Linky Party. I am your newset follower. If you get a chance, stop on by my blog.Have a great weekend!Krista
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November 14, 2012 at 6:28 am
Listen some of the stories I have are unbelievable…but in comparison to others I think they probably very childish!! But when you are going through it ..really… it doesn’t feel that way!!
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November 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm
lorriepoo, when i was dealing with the death threats, your stories helped me a lot.
in my own situation, it was far more shortlived and i was the one targeted, nit anyone that i loved, even if it did terrorize my pregnant roommate while she was trying to build her nest.
while we are in different camps, it helped me a lot to know that i wasn’t alone because a close friend had dealt with far worse.
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November 14, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Move over, Gianna Molina Barretta! Here’s the real “pro-life” saint, Salipa Hallapavatar (sp?):
http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/11/14/1187721/tragic-death-ireland-denied-abortion/
Pat, you could write about this.
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November 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm
What do you all think about this? Under our American Law, An innocent human baby born alive in a failed abortion is left to die in a toilet, in a trash can or killed after birth by the abortionist or staff member. Where are basic Human Rights! White House petition. http://wh.gov/X0Ke
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November 22, 2012 at 6:19 pm
Sorry, Barbara, you’ll have to cite your sources for those accusations. You’re letting your feelings overrule your ability to think straight…
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November 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm
not true.
the born alive infants protection act of 2002 forbids that.
no matter how the infant was expelled and no matter whether the cord is cut or not, the baby is deemed by law as a person with full legal rights, which include efforts for life saving procedures required to ensure their life and health.
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November 22, 2012 at 8:27 pm
pattypoo, i am SO sorry that they did that to you.
nobody deserves that.
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November 23, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Pat, have you ever pressed a so-called pro-lifer on their degree of commitment to real children, starting with how many children they have had and how many unwanted children they are raising?
Here’s a list graded from most intense commitment to least:
1. Are you a biological parent of any unwanted children?
2. A parent of any children?
3. An adoptive parent?
4. A foster parent?
5. An unpaid volunteer guardian ad litem for more than four children?
6. A Big Sister or Big Brother? How many hours a week? How much do you spend unreimbursed?
7. An unpaid public school classroom volunteer? How many hours a week?
8. An unpaid volunteer in a community’s parent-child center? How many hours a week?
9. What percentage of your household’s gross annual income do you provide for the needs of children whom you do not know but are in need?
10. How many hours a year do you spend working one-on-one with children whose parents are either unable or unwilling to care for them?
I would be interested to know what sort of reaction you get from conversations about these points. They did serve to shut down the so-called “pro-life” movement in my town.
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November 24, 2012 at 6:32 am
great list chuckles!
it is interesting that the questions focus on the baby and not on the woman.
why is it interesting you might ask?
you might ask, so i’ll tell you. 🙂
in my own opinion, the anti movement seems to focus on the baby and not on the woman.
of course there are exceptions, and those exceptions are more effective at not only preventing abortions, but at helping women with the life circumstances that they face that cause them to seek abortions to begin with.
but what else can a choicer do other than ask about the babies when that is what the anti will answer with anyway?
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November 24, 2012 at 7:53 am
Thank you, rogelio.
I would point out one misconception you have– that the so-called “pro-life” movement focuses “on the baby, not the woman.” They do not.
They focus on death.
If they focused on what they call “the baby,” they would be agitating nationwide for universal and affordable prenatal care, equal pay for working mothers, 60-day paid postpartum leave from work, and so forth.
The inability of the “pro-choice” movement to understand this severely cripples their abillity to deal with the PR skills of the so called “pro-lifers.” I suppose that being “pro-choice” means being a lunkhead in this respect.
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November 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Really interesting post, it is amazing how individuals can become so overtly passionate about an issue, picking on individuals as though they are the soul root of the issue. Freedom of speech is of course encouraged however boundaries must be addressed. I am a university student delving into the world of ethics and by far the most prominently argued ethical debate is abortion. I particulaly focus on the UK’s abortion law of up until 24 weeks and the argument of whether abortion at this stage is justified? I would like to stress that I am on mutual ground and my goal is to propose the debate. I would love to hear your views. http://ethicallychallenged1.wordpress.com/2012/11/25/abortion-the-ethical-debate/
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