A recent poll by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press suggests a dramatic change in support for same-sex marriage. According to the poll, 28 percent of current supporters of gay marriage say they used to be opponents. Ten years ago, only 34% of those polled said they supported gay marriage and today 49 percent say they support it! There are also some dramatic changes in support for gun control measures (although, in the case of guns, increasing support has not necessarily translated into gun control legislation).
And then there is the issue of abortion where, depending on how you ask the question, support for abortion rights has not necessarily increased and, indeed, some polls suggest we may have lost a little ground over the years.
So, what’s the problem? Why are we stuck after all of these years?
If you examine the general issue of gay rights, I think the answer is rather evident. More and more gays are coming out. They are telling their families, their friends and their neighbors. They are marching, writing letters, chatting on websites and doing as much media as possible. And this is affecting our elected officials, many of whom (including Obama) now openly court the gay vote. The most recent example of a conversion is Senator Rob Portman, a staunch conservative form Ohio who recently changed his position on same-sex marriage because his son told him he was gay. Support for gay rights is increasing because more and more people are coming to realize they know a gay person.
Meanwhile, a little over one million women each year have abortions and for the most part they remain silent. To be sure, when the right to abortion is under attack they might participate in a march or letter writing campaign but, because they do not mention their own abortion, they appear to be fighting for the right of others to have an abortion. They are one step removed and it’s a less powerful argument when it’s not personal. To make matters worse, when someone finally admits to having an abortion, it seems that most of the time they’re now pro-life because they wound up “regretting” their decision.
This is a classic Catch-22. Women are still very reluctant to talk about their abortions because of the stigma attached to the procedure. But the stigma is very real because women will not talk about their abortions. To be sure, there are some websites and blogs out there that urge women to share their experiences and let others know that they had the abortion and are “okay” today. But it’s hard to find those sites, so these stories are not getting much attention from the general public.
We can only hope that one day all of this will change. But before it does, before a woman “comes out” and talks about her abortion, she has to be able to get over the shame that society and, in particular, the pro-life movement, has imposed on her. They have to be able to admit that they were pregnant and decided to not let that pregnancy grow.
That’s a tough leap to make. And I’m not optimistic that we’ll ever see a large enough group of women willing to make it.
Related articles
- States are cracking down on abortion – and legalizing gay marriage. What gives? (washingtonpost.com)
- Anu Kumar: Green (With Envy) About the Gay Rights Movement (huffingtonpost.com)
- Why Is Gay Marriage Different Than Abortion? (rawstory.com)
- The Question at Court (capecountyteaparty.wordpress.com)
- Shadow of Roe v. Wade Looms Over Ruling on Gay Marriage (dailyqueernews.wordpress.com)
- Where Latinos stand on gay marriage, abortion, role of government (voxxi.com)
- North Dakota anti-abortion activists attempt to re-open Roe v Wade debate | Nancy L Cohen (guardian.co.uk)




March 24, 2013 at 12:15 pm
Pat you are so right!! At one point at the clinic every woman there had at some point in her life had an abortion…when the media wanted to talk to a woman who had at some point in her life made that CHOICE….only I stepped up!! Th newswoman even offered to blur their face NO ONE stepped up because they saw the harassment I had gone through being open abt. my abortion and they were scarred!!
I married into a big Irish Catholic family and although my mother-in-law was secretly(for her own reasons) pro-choice! The other Matriarch of the family was a “truly saintly good woman” that just quietly supported the work I did….all of the cousins were strongly against abortion…however each and every one of THIER children were NOT against abortion (personally, at least)!! We were one big HAPPY Irish Catholic “southern” family and “bless their hearts” we just kept that between the 2 of us X 6 if you catch my drift!!
You are spot on women are so afraid of the “back-lash” that they will be in favor of abortion for someone else but for themselves!! Never!! Gay people and pro-choice people have always walked side by side…but some how we did get out of step with them and sometimes I am afraid that the tides are so strongly against us now that the women that won’t stand up…walk with us…now…Will look back on this time in history and be ashamed that their SILENCE has cost more young women their lives from ILLEGAL ABORTION!! Perhaps their daughter or their own sweet granddaughter!!! WE MUST NEVER GO BACK!! SAFE & LEGALABORTION FOREVER!!
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March 25, 2013 at 9:32 am
As you know, Lorraine, I have always applauded your courage and the courage of those (few) women who have stepped forward to talk about their abortions – especially those who had illegal abortions. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if some of my readers spoke up just once?
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March 27, 2013 at 9:55 am
A gay couple who adopts a child will influence that child into becoming a gay person, that is what people say…
A woman who have an abortion will what???
People should stop thinking that all of us will “think” like they do just because this or that… Each one of us has the right to live our lives the way we want… To make our own decision and regret later or not…
I do think that gay marriage should be allowed all over because it is not fair that after living together for a long period of the time something to happen to one of them the other one be left empty hands…just saying!
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March 28, 2013 at 9:03 am
Totally agree, Sonia. I think the Supreme Court will make some progress on gays rights but I can’t imagine they will make a sweeping ruling. We’ll see in a few months!
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March 28, 2013 at 9:28 am
I hope so Pat… I am tired and sick of seeing people saying that abortion is wrong and lots of kids are left behind for people who probably thought about abortion, but give it up because of the lunatics… with that these kids can’t have a house because gay people can’t adopt etc… etc… i think is time for all of us to make it a difference, and a difference can only be made if we make our voice to be heard! My voice is saying that GAY are just like anyone of us with a different perspective in life and they should be respect and accepted as equal!
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March 28, 2013 at 8:03 am
GAY PEOPLE RAISING GAY CHILDREN!?!? LOL If someone were to follow that premise…a “rapist” breeds “rapist” children!! Bank robbers “beget” bank robber”ets” it is all ridiculous!!
I think we at last have “some” SCOTUS Justices that even with “tears” in their eyes can put their personal feelings in the proper place “most of the time” we just need ALL of them to be that way!!
Perhaps this will if… SCOTUS rules the way they should….might be favorable to Pro-Choice cases that come before them…for instance the one that was just made into law that makes ABORTION AFTER THE DETECTION OF A HEARTBEAT ILLEGAL!!
In SC back in the late 1960’s docs that did perform abortion in the case of “rape or mental health of the woman” could NOT do so if they could detect a heartbeat!! But back then that was at approx. 14-16 wks!! With the technology of today that could be much sooner than 6 wks the way tech changes so quickly!! VERY SCARY!!
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March 28, 2013 at 9:06 am
I think, Lorraine, that Sonia was not agreeing that gay parents raise gay kids. She was saying that some people believe that. And re the fetal heartbeat stuff, unless the court goes dramatically conservative in the next few years, those bans at six weeks will never hold up. Geez Louise, some women dont even know they’re pregnant at six weeks. Meanwhile, did you see that David Gunn, Jr. commented on my piece honoring his father? Very cool that he reads my stuff!
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March 28, 2013 at 9:29 am
Yes Lorraine, i hav heard that… unfortunately… This kind of comment comes usually from fanatics of the church…
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March 28, 2013 at 11:38 am
Pat, sorry if it appeared that I thought that…I knew what Sonia was saying…I just felt like spouting off!! I did not see David Gunn’s comment…that is wonderful that he watches this site!! I know his Dad would be so proud of him and his unwavering stand on abortion!!
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March 28, 2013 at 11:34 pm
We need to remove the stigma of talking about abortion; then Congress couldn’t pass restrictions to stick it to us women again and again. Enough already! Roe vs. Wade has spoken!
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March 29, 2013 at 1:41 pm
Virginia is right. I just dont know how to motivate women to talk!
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March 29, 2013 at 5:44 am
You have to watch this video of the cognitive dissonance that pro-life people seem to have when it comes to what punishment a woman should receive if abortion was illegal and a woman has an abortion. He really makes these woman feel uncomfortable when they are asked their opinions. Very telling and well makes these women look like idiots..for following a man.
http://www.upworthy.com/if-youre-holding-a-sign-with-an-aborted-fetus-on-it-you-better-be-able-to-answer?c=ufb1
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March 29, 2013 at 4:26 pm
It’s all about themselves! Did that last woman say Joe Seidler? That name sounds very familiar….
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March 29, 2013 at 6:01 pm
Yes she did say Joseph M. Scheidler is a noted American pro-life activist, National Director of the Pro-Life Action League, former Benedictine monk, and named defendant in the NOW v. Scheidler litigation, a 19-year ..From his Wikipedia page
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Scheidler
Is this not typical of religious women, following a man without questioning, much like you are suppose to do with religion,follow but do not question?
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April 1, 2013 at 1:59 pm
Scheidler was really the first pro-lifer that struck terror in the hearts of clinic workers. He was always in their face. At 6 feet 6 inches or so, he was also a physically imposing man.
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April 6, 2013 at 8:55 am
Pat…don’t forget that “hat & long coat” to match!! He used to cruise around the parking lot talking to all his “little disciples” like he was “the chosen one”!!! I do NOT like that man!! He use to harass our clinic in Mississippi also the our Birmingham Clinic !!
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April 8, 2013 at 5:38 pm
I do remember the hat and long coat! And that Satan like goatee. I tell ya, though, he certainly scared the crap out of me. He was so physically imposing and I never saw him smile once. At least Randall Terry smiled every once in a while 🙂
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March 31, 2013 at 10:04 am
Loved the video!
Pro Lifers are so stupid!
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March 31, 2013 at 10:06 am
Abortion is MURDER . . .
Gay people are evil sinners!!!!
Repent now before the one true god judges you and damns you to an eternity in hell !!!!
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March 31, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Yes Andrea but which god will be the one judging and damning…which god? The Mormon god, the Jewish god, the Muslim god, the Christian god, which god?
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April 1, 2013 at 2:01 pm
I always love it when pro-lifers say that we’ll spend an eternity in hell. So mean spirited, as if we are sooooo totally wrong in our beliefs and if we dont follow their church, we are totally doomed…..Nice God, huh?
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April 2, 2013 at 7:55 pm
Yep nice god…then again we may already be in hell or heaven and not even know it..lol
There was this Twilight Zone episode, not the black and white ones, but when they did Twilight Zone again in color, if you can remember those? I do but vaguely, but I remember one episode where there were some couples, the one couple was showing their vacation pictures and narrating each one, they were in heaven, and three couples having to sit through the slide show, they were in hell…lol
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April 3, 2013 at 8:35 am
Refused to watch the color Twilight Zone episodes. That would be an interesting thing to write about – is it possible that we’re already in heaven or hell? I guess it depends on the day, huh?
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April 9, 2013 at 8:23 pm
The single biggest thing the “pro-choicers” can do is make abortion as common a topic of conversation as autoimmune disease. One of the key strengths of the so-caled “pro-life” movement is its ability to define it as shameful and sinful. We need the TV show…. you can believe it would be popular!
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April 10, 2013 at 9:22 am
I agree, Charles, but I just dont see that happening in our lifetime. Just look at this blog. There are certainly a bunch of pro-choicers on it but they rarely speak up. Look at the women who have had abortions. They wont say a word. I dont see things changing much in the foreseeable future.
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