In early 1991, just months after the formation of the National Coalition of Abortion Providers, I hopped in a car and drove around the Midwest visiting clinics to get educated on the provision of abortion services. One of my first stops was at a clinic in Arkansas.
I had a good initial meeting with the physician (who offered me a joint that he had been keeping in his desk drawer), then I met with the administrator for about two hours to discuss how clinics are run. Very educational. At one point, we started talking about the reasons why women have abortions and I mentioned how I’d love to meet a woman who was going to have an abortion. The administrator responded “well, that shouldn’t be a problem. You need to talk to Gloria.”
I learned that Gloria was in for her 6th abortion. I couldn’t believe it and my initial reaction was that I needed to know why this was happening because, if I was going to represent abortion providers on Capitol Hill, I needed to know how to respond to charges of women “abusing” abortion. The administrator left the room to ask Gloria if she was willing to talk to me and she came back within a minute and said that Gloria would “love” to talk to me.
Gloria was in her mid-thirties. She was what my father would call “a sassy broad.” She was very confident, had a bee-hive hairdo and, from the crusty tone of her voice, a heavy smoker. She was chewing gum as we spoke. Probably worked as a waitress at the local diner. You get the picture..
I told her that I was just hired to fight for abortion rights, which she appreciated, then I told her I needed to know why she was at the clinic for her sixth abortion.
“Well,’ she said, “the first time the condom broke. The next time my boyfriend said he didn’t want to use a condom and threatened to beat me if I insisted on using one. The third time, I had gone on new birth control pills and there was some problem with them, don’t remember the details. The fourth time, I was raped by two truckers outside of the Rusty Skillet café in Little Rock. The fifth time. Geez, I can’t remember what happened the fifth time. Then this time I was just playing Lady’s Luck.”
“What is Lady’s Luck?” I asked.
“Well, I was not on birth control, didn’t want to use a condom so I just kept my fingers crossed and hoped that I had good luck. I actually should have just kept my legs crossed, huh?”
During her story, she kept cracking her gum and when she was done she looked at me coldly and said “Any more questions?”
I asked how she felt at that moment, knowing she’d be going in for anotherabortion in about 30 minutes. She said she felt fine. “I’ve been through this before, I know what to expect.” She was a rock, ready to get on with her life. Then, to my surprise, she asked me if I wanted to go in with her to the surgery room. I said yes.
We walked in and the nurse put her on the table and started prepping her. Then the doctor came in and said a few words to her before he got started. Gloria looked at me and then reached her hand out to me. I grabbed it and she squeezed. I then saw the doctor insert a tube into her and heard a vacuum-like sound. I looked at Gloria and she had tears in her eyes. I asked if she was okay and she said “I am such a loser. I have got to get my act together.” I started to well up myself. The nurse asked if she wanted to proceed and Gloria said “let’s do it” and the process was complete within minutes.
Later, in the recovery room Gloria was her old feisty, gum cracking self, ready to go out to her cold harsh world and kick some ass. She hugged me as she was leaving and said “thanks for being there.”
When she left, the nurse came over to me and said “she cries all the time. We always ask her if she really wants to do this and she always tells us yes.”
Thanks for the education, Gloria, you sassy ole broad….
November 22, 2010 at 6:50 am
“Pro-choice” my ass. Jesus is watching each of you who would advocate/encourage/allow the SATANIC RITE of MURDERING AN UNBORN BABY, here in the Last Days when supernatural evil is progressively turned (as pre-ordained by the Creator) loose on the earth, as per the prophecies. You satanic baby-killers (choice my ass) will stand DIRECTLY before Him (and do even now, as He watches you, every moment: bad Karma, baby)), just before you are thrown into hell.
He’s invisible (for now). Talk DIRECTLY to Him (to hell with the “legal “system, which is supposed to originate with God anyway, and with satanic organized “religion” and its false priestcraft, which lets this satanic crap go on.). Or don’t talk to Him- THAT IS A “CHOICE” YOU CAN MAKE, ONCE MADE AWARE OF THAT CHOICE., as I have just done here.
LikeLike
November 22, 2010 at 8:43 am
Hey, Edward, take a chill pill, will ya? Wow, I thought your God or Jesus was a kind gentle person but, holy crap, you’ve given me a different perspective, dude… Lemme guess, you’re all alone in the world, maybe still live in the basement of your parent’s house somewhere in bum – fuck Idaho. Just lost your job. No kids – or maybe you have 13 kids. Been divorced twice. Am I warm?
LikeLike
February 8, 2014 at 4:15 am
something that gives me some sort of clue (maybe it is even a business nuebmr and the person who answered gave me a clue if I was really lucky, or maybe her voice would jog something in my memory). If she doesn’t say anything, I would just say something not so intelligent sounding as Hmm, I’m not sure why you were put on my list of people to call. If you think of a reason please give me a call or I figure out why I will call you back. Good luck! I hate when things like this happen (or when people come up to me talking to me like they know me and I don’t have the slightest clue although during my college years I would purposely do this to strangers to see their reactions as a source of entertainment I was a snot)
LikeLike
November 22, 2010 at 5:02 pm
So, how does it make you feel to take the stand you’re taking, Edward? Don’t you sort of get the feeling that it’s pointless to try stop abortion? After all, there are so many “pro-choicers,” and there’s only you by yourself. . .
LikeLike
November 22, 2010 at 10:14 pm
1. Prove Jesus is real.
2. Prove he disagrees with abortion.
3. Give me a compelling reason why Jesus’ opinion should be more important than my own.
4. Abortion is not murder. You need only consult a dictionary to see why.
5. Abortion doesn’t kill “unborn babies.” It kills fetuses.
6. Your creator ordained evil? What a douche.
7. Karma is actually a concept of Hindu religions. Can you really not keep this straight?
8. Prove there’s a hell.
9. I’m really not interested in talking to your imaginary friend.
10. What in the world makes you think there is any English speaker who is not aware of Christianity already?
11. I don’t know about where you come from, but here in the US I’m happy to have a little thing protecting my rights called the Constitution so I don’t have to live under an oppressive theocracy.
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 12:14 am
edward, the effective way to change a woman’s heart about abortion is by working to change her personal circumstances that make her seek one to begin with.
just a little hint… spewing venom on the internet does nothing to change the things that makes her seek one.
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 10:00 am
It’s not the hearts of these women that need to be changed.
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 12:18 pm
good morning, julie.
what do you think needs to be changed?
i said that in the context that if a woman truly wants an abortion, she will have one, and no laws, hatred, condemnation, fear or anything else outside of changing the circumstances that make her seek one will change her heart or mind.
lifers can’t scream “BAD! BAD! BAD!’ and offer hatred, but no lasting solutions and be effective.
it’s not as though women enjoy abortion and make plans for a girls day out that include abortion in between lunch and having their nails done. (although some lifers seem to have that impression.)
long before jesus walked the earth, women had abortions for the reasons they had.
am i missing something?
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Oh, no, I’m not arguing that.
I’m just saying that, in the case of the antis, there’s no right way to do the wrong thing. That is, whether they’re yelling and screaming or not, they are being incredibly rude if they attempt in any way to force themselves into someone else’s personal business and try to impose their will. There’s no polite way to be a jerk.
And so, it’s not the hearts of women that need to be changed (although we can do a lot in improving living situations,) but the minds of the antis so full of misogyny and entitlement that need to change.
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 2:29 pm
ok, i see what you’re saying.
thank you for clarifying.
i believe that a direct abortion is always immoral, but the reality is that people do not and will not live by my moral beliefs.
that’s why i believe that helping to change the situations that make a woman seek an abortion is the only true way to prevent her from having one.
i believe that god gave us all free will.
women will do what they choose to do, and no amount of venom is going to change that.
but i know for a fact that offering a better, long lasting solution can move a woman to make a different choice.
it eliminates abortion for that woman for that pregnancy.
in that context, there is an effective way to eliminate abortions.
one at a time.
i am unsure if you consider all antis to be misogynist and entitled or certain ones, but i think that there are far too many whose hearts and mind need to change.
LikeLike
November 22, 2010 at 8:12 am
After reading the above, I’m glad I’m not on your side, Pat, Kate, et al.
LikeLike
November 22, 2010 at 8:44 am
Geez, this Edward guy is almost making you look reasonable, John…..
LikeLike
November 22, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Sure, and standing next to a little person makes me look tall.
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 12:19 pm
jajajajajaja
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Uh, uh, he’s smarter than I am.
(Shut up, Chuckles.)
LikeLike
November 23, 2010 at 10:50 pm
I mean uh huh, something like that.
LikeLike
February 9, 2014 at 6:36 am
Patty, I can not tell you how excited I am for you and the other ladeis involved in the launch of your site Pearls For Girls! This site is so full of encouragement, love, honesty, resources, and more for women of all ages. As a mother of two daughters and someone who works with children, I am so thrilled to see a site devoted to empowering young girls and women to find their purpose that was so uniquely and intentionally given from God. I have always found you to be a person of great inspiration to others and I am so happy to see your passions come alive in yet another wonderful site!
LikeLike
November 17, 2014 at 12:02 pm
Good to see a talent at work. I can’t match that.
LikeLike
February 8, 2014 at 1:31 am
Elements of America’s death culture:• Homosexuality Just as heexrosetual marriage promotes life and procreation, so homosexuality and now gay marriage promotes death. It is not a lifestyle , it is very much a deathstyle .•Abortion 60 million defenseless unborns have been legally murdered since Roe Vs Wade in 1973.•Continuous wars of choice America has been continually at war since 1991. As many as two million have perished in foreign lands along with thousands of young Americans.•Media violence Whether graphic video games or TV and movies, violence is everywhere. The same Hollywood celebrities that line their pockets making violent movies are now lining up to promote gun control. This hypocrisy permeates our society and we are all guilty. Liberals support gay marriage and abortion. Conservatives (including millions of Christians) support perpetual wars of choice . In 1973 Roe Vs. wade was shoved down the throats of an unsuspecting public by the judicial elites on the Supreme Court but in 2004 conservatives reelected Bush Jr. knowing full well that his war was propagated on lies. Likewise, in last year’s election, for the first time, four states openly voted in favor of gay marriage . More importantly, the whole nation reelected a president that publically came out in support of it. Across the board, liberals and conservative, atheists and Christians, we have all chosen death. School shootings and other gun violence are only a symptom. All of this cheapens human life. This is the death culture of mass killers like Adam Lanza who don’t value the lives of school children anymore than thier own. We have sown the seeds of death, death of our children (born and unborn) and eventually death of our civilization. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man (or nation) sows, this he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7)Note: This is from a letter I recently submitted to the Forum. Its been 2 weeks so I assume it wont be published. The PC Forum is obviously Pro-abortion and anti-2nd ammendmant
LikeLike
December 5, 2010 at 6:21 pm
You know, Pat, the issue of women have multiple abortions was always a flashpoint that even caused “pro-choice” folks to judge them. For me, first, I am not going to add to the long line of people judging women for their choices. Second, having a Masters Degree in Counseling, I understand that the abortions are not the problem, just the symptom. I’ll use one of my former patients as an example. She had six beat by several. She was a raving alcoholic. She was a very nice person, but when she drank, all hell broke loose in her life and she was the most fertile women I knew. I felt great compassion for her. We lived in the same town and I would see her often. She was struggling to overcome her addiction that lead to all kinds of risky behavior. After many years, she finally did and became sober. And guess what? We didn’t see her anymore. To me that was a great success. We gave her several second chances and she finally succeeded. I still think about her after all these years.
So judge not, less…
Jennifer
LikeLike
December 6, 2010 at 3:48 pm
That’s an excellent point, Jen. Indeed, maybe fodder for another blog. Thanks for chiming in….
LikeLike
February 8, 2014 at 5:25 am
Mrs. Spit: I have actually done the very thing you’re coniidersng. I have an awful tendency to put numbers on post it notes and then forget why they are there. So I call, and I say, Hi. My name is: . Generally speaking, they respond in a way that reminds me why I had their number on a post it note on my computer desk. If not, the second line is: I feel so foolish, but I have your number on a post it note, and I can’t remember why I did such a thing. I was hoping that could tell me Generally they can, but if they can’t, they generally commismerate with me. It’s generally always a nice little visit, and I hang up knowing that I’m not the only ninnypoop in the world.
LikeLike