On January 22, 1973 the U.S. Supreme Court handed down the Roe v Wade decision which declared that the constitutional right to privacy extended to abortion. Supporters of legal abortion rejoiced, although some did object to the fact that the decision allowed some restrictions on the procedure. At the same time, the pro-life movement declared it as a dark day in history.
Over the next few years, however, the pro-life movement actually took “possession” of January 22. They started organizing large rallies on that day across the country and ultimately launched the annual “March for Life” where hundreds of thousands of pro-lifers came to Washington, D.C. to express their opposition to legal abortion. The pro-choice movement could only watch feebly from the sidelines.
In late 1997, as a staff person for the National Coalition of Abortion Providers, it dawned on me that the next January 22nd would be the 25th anniversary of Roe v Wade. I started to think about how we could “take back” that day. Remember that this was a time when abortion providers were under attack. The bullets were flying, clinics were being bombed, every day was another battle in the constant war. Ironically, I came up with the idea of actually having a party, a celebration commemorating the work of the doctors and staff at the abortion clinics. Indeed, for years at the annual NCAP conference, we always had a dinner dance to help us wind down after a full day of seminars and lectures.
But I started wondering why we shouldn’t go a step further? I had been in Washington, D.C. long enough to know that other organizations, from the realtors to the bankers, regularly had formal, black tie parties. Why couldn’t we do the same thing? Why not have a real “grown up” party?
At first, some of our members were reluctant. It was almost as if it would be a sacrilege for the doctors and staff to “dress up.” But within a few weeks, the idea spread like wildfire. On email and over the telephone, people started talking about what they were going to wear, how they needed to rent a tuxedo and other logistical issues. While they were still nervous opening up their car doors, I could tell they were even more nervous about how they were going to do their hair that night.
To make the evening extra special, I booked the main ballroom at the famous Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C. I then spent weeks looking for a live band and finally found one that I liked. Everything was in place.
Since they were in town anyway, we offered our members a series of lectures during the day. They sat through speeches on “head and heart” counseling and how to advertise on the Internet, but it was clear that no one was concentrating. They were thinking of their “coming out” party. Finally, the time arrived. My staff and I got there early and stood at the door greeting folks as they shuffled in. I was literally taken aback. I had gotten to know these folks intimately, had talked to them for years about the protestors and the murders, was accustomed to seeing them in their scrubs or casual “clinic wear,” but now they were coming into the room with flowing gowns and jewelry that had been in storage for years. Instead of bullet proof vests, the male doctors now had shiny tuxedos. They were different people. They were finally having fun, getting all “gussied up” as one person put it. The music, the food and, yes, the booze flowed all night.
A few weeks earlier, I had spoken with a writer for the “Style” section of the Washington Post and she thought it was fascinating that abortion providers would even consider having a party. I invited her to come and she readily accepted. The next morning, after a very long night of revelry, our conference attendees had copies of the Post delivered to their hotel rooms and there on the front page was an article entitled “Dinner Break From a Hot Issue.” The joy of those interviewed jumped from the pages. Doctors who drove to
their clinics with blankets over their heads for security purposes openly talked to the reporter about the great time they were having for that one evening. Clinic owners spoke candidly about how proud they were of the work they performed. Directors of clinics talked about the women they served and about whose gown they were wearing. We had created an alternate world for one magical evening.
Within a few days, everyone was back at their clinics. Waiting for them were the local protestors, the anonymous phone calls, the nasty unsigned letters and the myriad of issues that come up daily in a medical facility. But for weeks, they just talked about “the party.”
On that night, we had taken back Roe v Wade.
November 2, 2010 at 11:10 am
Rogie, I totally appreciate your concern for women and how you want to help them based on your experience. But having talked to sooo many women over the years as they are entering a clinic, I know some women would just rather be left alone and not have to see a person outside the clinic (whether they are pro or anti). Even if you are totally quiet, they can see you, they know (or at least guess) why you are there and it does not serve them well. Yes, someone may voluntarily come up to you and talk. that’s there decision. But, to me, it’s like she is being used like a volleyball. “Listen to me” “No, don’t listen to him, listen to me”.
She’s been through hell, she’s thought and thought about losing her baby. She’s probably been to a professional counselor or talked to her religious figure, not to mention family and friends. She finally makes her decision and is still hating the situation she’s in. And then she goes to the clinic and there you (and possibly your friends) are.
I just dont think you are helping at this point and you may be hurting her….Start a blog, for gosh sakes and start sharing your thoughts with all of those women who want to read your stuff. Don’t use them as a pawn in the game by standing outside the arena.
LikeLike
November 3, 2010 at 12:06 pm
ok, you still haven’t answered the question that i keep posing to you.
how far should i go to avoid the possibility of upsetting someone?
are you saying that people don’t mind lifers as long as we don’t flaunt it?
it’s not as though i have a fetus fetish and run around in leather and a gasmask carrying a whip and a fetus doll with lords of acid songs playing in the background.
as you said, if someone approaches me, that is their choice.
are you saying that i shouldn’t offer them that choice?
that’s not very tolerant.
LikeLike
November 5, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I’m saying you should not be out there at all. Women enter a clinic assuming that there will be anti-abortion folks out there, which naturally raises their anxiety (which can be physically dangerous). When they see people out there (pro or anti), they assume their antis. Indeed, I’ve asked pro-choicers to stay away from the clinics as well. You have all the right in the world to be out there and I would defend your right to do it, but it feels almost voyeuristic to me, being out there and hoping they come talk to you. Just leave these women alone for Christ’s sake. You think they haven’t thought their decision through? Don’t you have anything else to do on a Saturday? Isn’t there a homeless shelter that needs help? And PLEASE dont tell me you’re saving babies. That’s a total crock. I know you mean well, Rogie, but I think you’re better than that. You could be contributing to society in a more meaningful way than standing outside of a friggin abortion clinic, hoping that some vulnerable woman will walk over to you and hear your words of wisdom.
LikeLike
November 16, 2010 at 2:12 pm
well, thank you for tyour insights, patty. i will be sure to give them some thought.
ohz, i do the homeless shelter gig usually on friday mornings before daily mass.
LikeLike
November 2, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Very well done, Pat, but I hope Rog does not take your advice.
LikeLike
November 3, 2010 at 7:47 am
I can only try, John 🙂
LikeLike
November 4, 2010 at 5:46 am
And Rog, I am going to answer your question, “as a prolifer how far should I go,” too. You should go all the way to joining with those who want to keep baby killing legal. Remember, we are not talking about raising or lowering taxes or whether a certain foreign war is just or unjust. We are talking about people getting murdered. As long as you are prolife, your opponents know that they might be encouraging murder.
LikeLike
December 5, 2010 at 6:29 pm
It was a hell of a party, Pat! I still have the pictures to prove it!
Jen
LikeLike
December 6, 2010 at 3:46 pm
That is was, Jennifer…Unfortunately, I do remember that some folks got a little takey. It was very obnoxious…
LikeLike
February 10, 2014 at 9:15 am
I’m grufatel you made the post. It’s cleared the air for me.
LikeLike